Arzairrah is my guardian. He is my protector, my guide, my mentor. He is a pure and amazing being who keeps me on the path whenever I'm about to slip into a ditch. He is the one being I know will always stand by me, who I can lean on when I can't support myself, and who will never steer me wrong. My ship on a stormy sea, my blanket and hot chocolate in the middle of a blizzard. He is me, and he represents me at the core of my being. He is my heart and soul by every definition. As a wise man once said...."He is my center."

That's more poetic than dictionary, but I can't say it any other way.



Rinto is..er. I've never been very good at sharing my views and opinions, because I'm not very good with putting my ideas into words. I'm also not really sure. Rinto is many things to me, he helps me sort my thoughts out when I'm feeling cluttered, because when I can't get my head round what I'm supposed to be doing I tell him about it, get it out of my system and as he is sortof, someone who's listening, I manage to sort it all out.

He's my..counselor I suppose? I tell him my problems, he tells me a rational idea of how to sort things out, he coaches me on how to act in certain situations i'm going through, tells me what might be a good idea to do when I'm feeling down (like do something productive etc.). He knows just what's good for me, and I'm not surprised, because he is basically me; my other half, my other side. He shares my personality in some ways and reflects it in others. He has different opinions and fears and hopes and dreams, although they all kind of tie in with mine in some way or another.

I could also say he's an extended version of a conscience..because to me a conscience (assuming the person doesn't know of their dæmon) is the little voice going,"hmm this doesn't feel right".. and I think that's what Rinto is, except..different. I'm not sure how to explain this..but he's the one that helps me remember what's right or wrong, when I'm being to selfish or too crazy, if I'm coming on too strong or appearing snobbish or awkward to someone. Except he has a personality as well as just reminding me of those things. Like my a guide or mentor I suppose.. I don't know.



I've always just thought of a dæmon as a semi-concious projection of unconcious thoughts/desires which often go inexpressed because they are over ruled by concious thoughts/desires. Kind of. Um. Or the parts of you that can't be expressed, for whatever reason. like, Shal rants and raves at people who piss me off all the time, i situations where if I did the ranting and raving, I'd be fired/beaten up/arrested.



Okay, I can't talk like a dictionary, but I'll try not to get so fuzzy like I always do.

The dæmon is the part of a person that makes them more than flesh and bone. It's known people are made of chemicals and substances all interacting to make emotions and dilemmas and ideas, but they are also more. They are greater than the sum of their physical parts, and this 'dæmon' is responsible for this inconsistency in the equation.

Just between me and the deer, we don't describe him as a 'dæmon,' we prefer to use 'ghost' or 'living ghost,' it's some kind of unsubstantiated spiritual force in me that he represents, not my conscience or reason or superego or anything quite so clear-cut as that. We are poetic and dramatic when we talk, so I often describe himself as a tether to the sky, or the part of me with goggles as we live underwater, or the libretto for the surrealist foreign film flicking through the film projector in my head, my second stolen voice. He elevates me, he clarifies me, he explains me, he enriches me, just by existing. Whether he took this form or another or no form at all, whether he is vocal or entirely silent, whether I acknowledge him or not, he is going to be there. Primarily, he is made to be present. His shape and voice and name and personality are all secondary. He is what makes me more than my biology.

I know I will never have a more solid definition than that, because it just seems unlikely that we will ever know more about dæmons than what we know now. We have made some pretty good guesses, how we regard our dæmons right now is a system that works well. But (as you all know I am fond of saying), what are the odds we got it right?

And here's what I put on Zephyr's page, awhile ago. This is the attitude I have towards dæmons in order to justify my own belief, it is how I arrived here with him and how we kept talking so long. But I have become slightly less of a defeatist since writing this.

emily OF THE PAST wrote:
Your dæmon is God on the inside. It's searching for something to tell you, 'hey baby, it's okay, you're not a failure, and the sun is gonna come up tomorrow I swear,' but instead of finding Jesus or Buddhism or paxil or whatever, you've come up with a voice in your head and an animal shape that tells you what you're all about.
It's figuring out that 'you' isn't your hair or your eyes or the way you talk, not really, 'you' is what's underneath, behind your eyes or in your ribcage or wherever you think your dæmon comes from. 'You' is something impossible to fully know, a nebulous cloud of souldust you sometimes think you see out of the corner of your eye. 'You' is the name you're calling in your brain when you're going under for surgery and you're scared and you're crying and you're not thinking things through. I talk to my dæmon because, from what I can tell, the whole world makes about zero sense, and everyone's have a lousy time when you get right down to it, and knowing my dæmon (or whatever he is) makes everything a little less lousy. And if I'm wrong about, you know, the whole world, at least I've got that.



Vera is the parts of me I keep hidden. The secret thoughts I have that I don't want anyone to know, my inner strength, calm, and apathy. Things I don't typically show to others, though a few close friends do see the Vera-side of me. She is the overly-critical voice that tells me I need more work and also that part that says "We're doing okay here" when I get worked up. She keeps me in check, the eternal middle-ground, sanctuary home-base tether to head back to when I've no where else to turn and I've gotten lost in explorations.



The dæmon is:
The part that helps me tell right from wrong.
The gut feeling that I should or shouldn't do something.
The judge of my choices.
The voice that says "every thing's OK" when things go wrong.
The connection to reality when I day dream too much.
The one who says everything I wish I could say out loud.
The knower of all of my secrets and dreams.
The best friend who's always there.



Skyy is my soul, the most precious thing to me; maybe beyond preciousness. She is someone who knows all of my problems (and usually how to solve them), she is loving, caring, and tells me to do this/that if it would benefit my health. She cheers me up when I'm sad, and I cheer her up when she's sad, and when wei are happy we are really happy and there is a feeling of love in my heart. She is someone I can talk to, share my beliefs with, and share my feelings with. A bestest best friend.



Cyfrin is the person that I wish I could be, but am too scared to show. He stands up for me and my beliefs when there is no one but me to do if for. He is always the one to convince me of an apposing point of view when I seem too bias, and it always works even with my parent's opinions. He is the best friend that you can never find, one who wouldn't ever tell any of your secrets, one who knows everything about you and accepts it. He is me, I am him.



Rhokath is my pure self. He directs me in the best way to go. He knows what I really want and don't want, even if I can't say it myself. He knows all of my deep, dark secrets, some that I don't even know, and he loves me with all his heart anyway. Rhokath reminds me of what's right and wrong. What I should and shouldn't do. He reminds me of my own standards, and keeps me from settling for less. He screams at me when I need it, and cuddles me when I need it. He's what I NEED him to be. He's my inside layer. Like the underlayers of skin. To be protected because elsewise the world would burn and sting at it. He is me, but sortof split at the top a bit. In some ways we are different awarenesses, but in the end, we are still one and the same. Rhokath is the one thing that makes me different from the rest of the animal kingdom. He is my ability to reason. He is the one who snaps me back into reality when I'm out of it. That's what Rhokath is to me.



Brero is my other half, my other self. His thoughts are my thoughts, simply expressed from a different view point. His personality compliments mine. He is the natural duality to my human nature, animus to my anima. He is also my way of looking at myself, and speaking to my mind. When I am riddled by doubt, he can still reassure me. When I am feeling wholly unlovable, he is the part of me that still loves myself.

Psychologists are discovering that imaginary friends (a normal part of childhood) are valuable for child development. Children use their imaginary friend to express their secret wishes and desires. Their imaginary friends often compliment their personality, like being outgoing if the child is shy. I think this is because the child is taught to hold part of him/herself back. That outgoing part of the self is suppressed due to fear of rejection; a certain desire is kept secret because to act on it would result in punishment. The imaginary friend becomes an idealized self- the secret self which is not constrained by the world and cannot be judged by others. I believe the dæmon is this part of one's self. Our dæmon is our buried self, made up of the bits that we keep secret and hidden. Hei is the masculine side of myself, when culture encouraged the feminine side of me; the brash part of me, when I was teased into embarrassed silence. These sides did not disappear, but became suppressed.

My dæmon is my way of speaking to these lost pieces of my personality. By finding them again, by speaking to this lost part of myself, I can bring those pieces back into the light of the day. Finding these pieces can keep me feeling brave when I would otherwise be shy. Speaking to these pieces, and hearing what they have to say, can tell me things I would otherwise not have known about myself.

I call these pieces "Brero."



Riltharn is my subconscious. He is some deeper, truer part of me that most people aren't lucky enough to access. He tells me how I really feel or what's truly right for me. He is the part of me that is the most divine. Sometimes I think he has conversations with God when I'm not listening. I am tied to the outside world, anchored by my senses, but he is tied to what I really am, and anchored by my identity. I am extroversion, and he is introversion. And yet, fundamentally, he is me.



Cai is, well, me, but on a deeper level. He's the me when no one's watching... the real me, in a way. My secret self, a hidden version of me with considerably more sense. He's the bundle of fur always there to radiate silent comfort when I'm sad, the sarcastic voice that can have me laughing my head off, the playful companion always there to chase and sing and talk with... The only one who really, truly knows me--all of me, my virtues and my vices, the secrets I dare not share with anyone else. He's the warning voice before I do something stupid, the disappointed silence when I don't heed his advice. The one who loves me more than any other being does, more than any other being can. More than I ever thought possible. He can be serious or playful, quiet or chatty, and always knows the best way to cheer me up or make me feel guilty for what I've done. In his eyes I'm not perfect, but to him I'm a light in the dark, not only his responsibility but his dearest friend... closer than any friend could be. Every day I thank God or whatever greater power is out there for this amazing discovery. I can't remember ever feeling as though something was missing from my life before our cieday, because he has always been there, but Cai as he is now completes me. He makes me whole.



I try to tell myself sometimes that Kin is a sort of secondary personality inside my brain, not under my control, but still part of the same grey matter. But then whenever I project her or talk to her, I get such a feeling of perfect companionship that it makes me want to cry and my heart to start beating faster and stronger. Somehow, that kind of love doesn't strike me as being the love of oneself, but as something at least partly outside me. So I guess Kin is... this is a terrible word to describe it, but symbiotic to me. Like I'm here, and she has an immense system of roots that run right through me, fusing us together. But a part of her is still outside me, and thinking her own thoughts in her own incorporeal body.

So while I think that dæmons are inextricably bound to us, I think that they are something of an outside force that helps us along.



Nax is, on a superficial level, my best friend. He understands me more completely than I could ever understand myself, because he is me. He's the part of me that's in touch with my emotions, my worries, my desires - everything that's intangible, the part of me that's just a little bit wiser and a little more certain about what I want out of life. He is by turns comforting and mocking, but never unkind or supercilious. He gives me perspective and it's his sense of humour that pulls me out of a bad mood. He's a voice of motivation, pushing me to work harder, but he's also the part of me that sticks up for myself when I'm giving myself a hard time. He knows every part of me and loves every bit unconditionally, not matter how flawed, laughs at my faults and encourages the good in me. One of the best things is that all the qualities I love and admire in him are mine too - through knowing him, I've developed a sense of self, a confidence in my abilities. He is the reason that points out where I'm going wrong, and the self-love that fends off self-pity and doubt. He is the integral part of me that balances the side I show to the outside world, quite simply, he makes me whole. It's not that I couldn't possibly live without him - it's that I would never, ever want to.



Caz is my innerself who knows me better than the 13 year old Jane does. He comforts me when I cry and lies with me on the verge of sleep. He convinces me of things I am too proud to admit and he reveals how I really feel without hurting anyone's feelings. He is the voice in my head and by my side saying how things work and feeding me on morals and concepts far beyond my comprehension. Caz is my tour guide who I love madly and who I am most connected to.



Boo is, in the logical sense, my inner self in the form of something that is easy to comprehend while not overcomplicating things. A voice attatched to a body that is not solid but is just as much alive as I am. A mind that shares my own yet accesses it in ways that I don't actively consider. Neither of us is more important than the other, for what is a bunch of organs and muscles worth when a soul does not exist to make them whole? Hei is me, I am him, wei are I. It's pretty simple, really.

Emotionally, hei is the one I can understand and be understood by. A best freind that goes deeper than anything anyone who has not known their dæmon can even begin to comprehend. The one I truly will and always have unconditionally feel love for-- a kind of breathtaking understanding that stretches farther into me than any petty human-human love can. Hei's the words that tell me what I'm really thinking. Hei's the meaning of the word comfort. Of freindship.
Of joy.

And, wei are one. Animal within human, human outside animal.

And.. Boo would like to speak to you.. What a rarity. ^^;

What is a dæmon? A dæmon is your insides. The ones without all the blood, the inside on a figurative level. You call it a soul. An anima. (An ironic word that never fails to amuse us.) To us, now that wei speak to each other-- it would be like me asking "What is a human?"
If it's hard to comprehend, then you're looking too deep. A dæmon is you. You are, then, your own dæmon, I suppose..



Rester is my other self, my alter ego, my soul and my consciousness.
He is also the physical representation of my eesence, which is the marten both in my name and in my soul. He is just the perfect soulmate, as he couldn't better illustrate what I am, how I am and how I feel.
In our relationship, he is the inner voice matching my own. Where I'm fire he's water; when I burn, he scorches. In secret he is my muse, he is my inspiration, my guide and my confidant.
Every time I am silent, he's my voice; every time I'm calm, he's the voice that soothes me so I remain such. He is more than just a bit of me: he's more than a half of me.
That is my dæmon.



Thomasin is my other half. Without him, there is no way I could be complete. He is always there, in ways no one else can be. He lifts me up in my darkest moments and always knows exactly what to say. Sort of like my conscious and sub-conscious self but at the same time so much more. If I don't feel like talking, he'll know and just wait until I am ready. He protects me and knows everything about me; my hopes, dreams, secrets and wishes. He sees my flaws, bad habits and mistakes but still loves me with all his heart.



Circio is… wow. This is hard. I don’t see him as a conscience or a soul or even a friend, though he acts as all three. He tries to push me in the right direction, but sometimes we have so much fun together that it’s hard for him. He knows what to do to make me happy and will do it without hesitation. He is something that I can never claim to understand. The best I have is this: Circio is me. He understands me more than anyone, and that’s all I need to know.